20 Real things every woman should realise about men: A Christian view on Love and Relationships.

 

So I was recently linked to an awful page that tried to make men out to women as lustful stupid beasts.  Well my aim in this post is to change that view. I want to encourage especially Christian couples, that is not the way a man and a woman should view each other. But if you are a non-believer, I want you to see that is not good enough either.

So here are the 20 points coming up:

1. He Loves you as Christ loved the Church.

Every man in a Christian relationship should love you as Christ loved the Church that means, that with every fibre in his being and even to the point of giving his life for you, that should be how much he loves you. This does not mean you don’t love him. You love him back just as much, that is the key to love in the Christian relationship.

2. Be subject to him.

I know you have instantly gasped or may even have thought of not reading anymore, but this point does not give your partner the right to dominate you or abuse you. You need to be there for him, be a support for him. He too needs to support you, show him how to support by being there for him.

3. Worship together.

You can not underestimate the power of worshipping together, attending church together. This is a key aspect to the relationship, keep your worship relationship with God good and you will find the relationship between you is good as well.

4. Pray with him.

Praying together is so important, sometimes it may feel like the world is against your relationship or you are going through tough times, remember that as Christians you can take it to the Lord and he will help you. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Together.

5. Enjoy each others company.

You are Christians but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend time together, you do not need to always be doing things for the Church, or trying to convert thousands together, if you want to stay at home and watch a Rom-Com, you do it. This is especially true for Newly weds.

6. Sex is not evil.

Sex is an important part of a Christian marriage, and only marriage. That is what makes it so special, when you find the person you are to spend the rest of your life with them and you get to spend the most intimate time together. Cherish that. It is not evil but instead a gift from God.

7. Do not feel forced to have sex.

However do not feel that you need to obey your husbands command for sex. Remember, submit to your husband but do not allow yourself to be abused. No does mean no, especially in a Christian relationship. Make sure if you are to have sex that you both consent. Love should be at the heart of sex, not the lustful desires of one side being fulfilled.

8. Read the Bible with him.

The Bible is the Word of God. It is our way of hearing from God’s word when we read together. Therefore it is important to do it together, as you learn as you read it on your own, so you learn as a couple when you read together.

9. Be careful who you take advice from.

Do not allow too many people into the relationship. If you have an argument or a fall out, try to work it out together. If not bring in trusted friends preferably one man and one woman, maybe your Pastor and his wife.

10. Pray about children.

Not all couples want children, and it is certainly not a requirement for a Christian relationship but it may be something that you need to pray on and prepare for. Then seek that God would bless you with Children.

11. It is not ok for him to cheat.

Do not accept if he has cheated on you. You are worth more through Christ. You should be the only woman in his life, he should act that way towards you, respect you by only loving you.

12. Help him if he is addicted to pornography

If you come across a website or dodgy subscriptions which suggest a porn addiction, do not dismiss him straight away. Help him. Support him. It is as addictive as a drug. Help in anyway you can. Do not feel guilty, you have not done anything wrong. Only walk away, if he refuses to change, or he is has crossed a line in the things he views.

13. It is ok for you to have different friends.

Unlike the movies that suggest Christian couples are connected by the hip, you can and should have different friends. It is good for your social life but also relives some of the pressure that come with being around your partner.

14. Be prepared to rebuke.

Men don’t always get it right. Sometimes it will be your responsibility to stand up and tell him what he is doing or saying is wrong. Do not however do this in a proud and arrogant way. Do it with love and desire to care for him, in preventing him from doing wrong.

15. Trust is crucial.

As in any relationship trust is key. You need to trust him as he needs to trust you. As a couple you should work on this together, do not allow things to get between you and discuss together if anything troubles you.

16. Do not try to overpower him.

It is not good for you to try overpower and undermine him as person. This is only because it creates rifts in the relationship and puts barriers up. Understand that you can rebuke him, but do not try to make him feel worthless. He is loved by Christ as much as you.

17. Always have faith in his abilities.

Always trust and have faith that he will do well. Trust that God will bless him and all he does. This does not mean sit back, watch and laugh at the times he may fail, but instead pray for him and be there to help him up from a fall.

18. Stand next to him through good and bad.

Eve was created from Adams side. These means you need to stand side by side with your partner. Not just through the smooth and good times but when it is hard and tough. You need to support him, as he does you. You support best when standing next to him.

19. Do not judge his past.

All Christians have a past. He may have had a sexual history. But do not hold that against him. Jesus doesn’t so neither should you. Remember that you too will have done things that you may have done wrong and you may not like it if he starts to judge you for that.

20. Remember he is a sinner too.

He will make mistakes. But then so will you. You are sinners and certainly not perfect. Make reasonable allowances for this. Do not bite his head off for every little thing, instead walk alongside him and help him from stumbling into sin, as he should do the same for you.

I hope this has helped, Please find the link to the original blog post here: http://wallstreetinsanity.com/50-things-every-woman-should-realize-about-men/

 

Any questions feel free to comment.

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God bless

Gareth

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Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Is it out dated?

Over the past 30 years or so, there has been an increase in radical feminism that has grown out of an outrageous time of male chauvinism, this changed with more women choosing to concentrate on their work life, getting higher up the ladder, and one influence of this in England was with Margaret Thatcher being elected Prime Minister. We now seem to have reached a stage in culture where men are trying to one up women and women one up the men. It seems to be the agenda of the day is more I have to prove I am better than that of the opposite sex. This is not helped with programs like loose women on ITV where a group of women moan about life and their husbands, which is not the best place in which to do that.

The sad thing about all of this is that the biblical view of Manhood and Womanhood is seen as ancient, oppressive and almost like slavery especially in the context of marriage.

I believe this to be an incredible shame. I hope in this post to go through why we should return to these ways, a way which many Christians seem to drift from. Sadly.

So to begin we are going to look at where it all began, where Manhood and Womanhood where first found in The Bible. Genesis.

Genesis 2: 15-18

15The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” 18Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

This is a fantastic passage before God creates Eve, where he realises that Adam the first Man, needs a partner, God says “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” We were created to love, out of love from God. God did not need our love, but we needed something to love. God notices Adam will need someone with him. Now the word God uses is “helper.” DO NOT BE PUT OF BY THIS! It does not mean God created Eve to be Adam’s slave, but someone to aid Adam in his task which God has given him to do, which is to tend the Garden of Eden. So the role of the woman is to help the man in his tasks.

So a woman should seek to support and help the man in her life, she should seek to be his helper. For those who are single should seek in a man someone she should feel she can help and support. All of this desire to help and support should spring out of love.

Genesis 2: 23-25

23Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

This is shortly after Eve has been created, this is Adam’s reaction to the blessing of Eve’s creation. He rejoices at the fact they came from one. One became two. This fantastic way of creation that God chooses to do, is symbolically put back together in verse 24-25. These verses are marriage based, this shows firstly Marriage is between a man and a woman. But that marriage means more than is sometimes seen in the 21st century. Marriage is the reconnection of a man and a woman together as one.

This is the way men and women were meant to be.

But then the fall…

This is the moment where sin entered the world, it infected it and made everything fallen, as in no longer perfect and how it was created and meant to be.

Genesis 3:16

16To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be for your husband,

and he shall rule over you.”

Verse 16 of Genesis, just after the snake has got Eve, then later Adam, to eat of the tree they were not to eat of, Eve is told that she will desire to be for her husband. This means it will be to dominate and try to overpower his rule. To outdo him. This sounds familiar to the state that we find the world in now. Man and woman trying to one up or overpower the other. This is not how Biblical manhood and womanhood should look like.

In the context of a Christian couple trying to live in this way, as with all things it should point people to Jesus. Always to Jesus. The reason why they should choose to live as a couple according to how the Bible says, is so that in that people see Jesus. In a previous post called Marriage is not for me: it’s for Jesus, I gave the argument from Ephesians 5 for the way a Christian marriage should be with a wife showing biblical submission out of Love and the husband loving self sacrificially. The reason why they do that. Well as it says wife submit like the church does for Christ, and husband love your wife as Christ loved the church. If both parties which in marriage are one work together like this, Jesus will be seen in how you live.

As for all Christians even down to the topic of Biblical manhood and womanhood, which yes may not be like preaching or street evangelism is still an effective tool to help people find Christ, because people watch and see how Christians behave and act with God and with each other and through that they could see Christ, and find salvation through him.

To summarize Biblical manhood and womanhood is not outdated, it should not be cast to the side as “the old ways of doing things” but instead should be seen as a glorious way we can point and show people to Jesus. How people can come to know of his love and his grace through the way we are with each other, people can come to know the love of Christ through our love for each other.

God bless,

Gareth.

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